hey!!! GUESS WHAT?? I might abandon you, little itiscomming blog!! BWahahahaha! Im not sure yet though... hahahaha! i have LJ na eh!! my user name is chaldia!! wheeeeee. bye bye. asta lavista you cursed blog!!! im 90% willing to abandon you, and maybe even shut you down. but 10% is telling me "No!! NO!!! DOnt!" ahahah! so im not sure yet. anyway... goodbye for now.:)

I noticed that i'm such a complainer. i'll stop complaining. im tired. BUT happy. Stressed out. BUT happy. Distant from people. BUT happy. I'm lost. BUT happy. I'm pissed off. BUT happy.I'm happy that God exists. I'm happy that my friends are my friends. I'm happy that i know grade school people who amuse me with their happy way of seeing life. I'm happy that i have Ico and Kimmy as my labmates and friends.:) I'm happy I have hao. I'm happy I have Perseverance although I feel stupid around smart people. haha. I'm happy I passed my chinese quiz. My head hurts. BUT i'm happy. My brain is soup. BUT i am happy. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I'm happy! VERY HAPPY!!:D yey. Even though things are still unstable, i'm happy coz I'm immune!! and things are slowly, but SURELY, going up! Little by little. YEY! laters.

Oh happy day!! hahaha! lalalalalalala!

I don't think i can handle these stuff anymore. I wanna quit school. i swear. or switch schools, at least. I don't think i belong to my school. i don't think i'm strong enough to take my school's stress, and to take Chinese anymore. i can't na. i give up. No more hope for me. no more. no more. no more. no more. no more. no more. NO MORE!! i want things to just stop. STOP!!! i swear, i might explode!! i almost couldn't stop myself from screaming yesterday in school. Morning pa lang. i knew things would go wrong. Morning pa lang i sinned na. Morning pa lang i was about to break. Morning pa lang i was complaining na. I was only in a jolly mood when it was Math class and when it was dismissal. I'm not sure if it was genuine jolly though. I think my brain is dysfunctional already. Why was i happy during math class when before math, i was thinking of all the negative feelings i had and i wasnt paying much attention in english class? and why was i so jolly dismissal time when generally all my grades went down, and my average went down by two points!! diba? i mean... huh? what's with the happy mood? Tapos ang emotional and overly dramatic ko kahapon. grabe. STUPID.. Must...appear....happy!! kakahiya if i appear sad or pissed eh. haha. good thing no one reads my xanga!:)

here i am complaining AGAIN. i wont say much. except this is the one of those BAD, BAD weeks where a series of unfortunate events happen. They suck so much, you'd wanna wring your own neck, and you'd doubt your capabilities. You'd feel so dumb and helpless, just like a little pebble on the river bed that wants to go climb up the mountain. So helpless... poor little pebble. oh well.. i'm a pebble. i'm stuck on the river bed! Someone, help me climb up the mountain!! help!! pick me up and throw me as high as you can so that i may reach my destination!! BWAHAHAHAHA! I'm not making sense again. as usual. But why should i? How could i? i'm just a pebble anyway... i always believed in the saying "Never lose hope" but that was the past. i dont believe in that anymore. isnt it weird? one day i believe in it, and another day i dont. i guess i am a person who doesnt stick to what she believes in. oh well... I think i've changed. for the WORSE. I'm dumber, lazier, uncreative-er, less patient, less faithful, etc. basta. Freak this life. i wish i were someone else. Duh. I'm never satisfied ever anyway.